"Me First" Leadership

There's the good, the bad and the ugly in "Me First Leadership."

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking there can be no good in me first leadership. It's all the bad and the ugly. Set aside the me first leadership practiced by uncaring managers, selfish employers or greedy CEOs. That's not leadership and doesn't deserve the title with or without the me first defining it.

Instead, let's explore the possibilities of me first leadership in this context. To be an effective leader, you must first lead yourself. Here's the crux of it. How can you lead others if you cannot lead yourself.

Me first leadership then, among other things, means that you learn and practice good communication skills. You know the importance of being organized, disciplined and timely. You understand the value of "walking in another's shoes" so you are empathetic. You know the importance of respect which leads to the all important trust. You fully realize if you make a commitment, you fulfill that commitment. For good measure, let's throw in another element - that of civility. You treat others with civility at all times which now seems to be out of the norm.

This is especially important in a time when our airwaves are crowded with people talking and shouting over each other; negative criticism of all actions and ideas seems to be the order of the day, every day; and reality shows featuring daily discord and disagreement run rampant. Civility seems almost archaic in its use or lack thereof.

Makes leading yourself, or me first leadership all the more important. But, only in the very beginning.

It is important that you transition out of the "me first" phase quickly. After that transition, it's no longer about you, it's about others. However, with the learning you've experienced as a foundation, you are now prepared to be a good leader. At all times, you consider the impact your actions, words and decisions has on others as well as the organization. You have moved on to "we're in this together" leadership.

In this scenario, consider me first leadership a phase, not unlike adolescence or teen age years. All about self-focus, it is a phase leaders go through on their leadership journey.

"When you come to a fork in the road, take it," is one of many quotes from my favorite philosopher, Yogi Berra.

The blue heron that nests around my neighbor's pool must have thought Yogi said, "When you come to a fork in a tree, take it." Because that's exactly what the bird did. He took a fork in a tree (who knows how) and found himself in a serious predicament.

Pulling into my back alley driveway the other evening, I heard my neighbor calling. This was most unusual. I quickly got out of my car and went to see what he wanted. With both hands, he was holding a bird whose neck was stuck between a fork of two limbs in a tree. His efforts were keeping it immobile and from more serious harm. He asked me to hold it so he could get something to pry the limbs apart. We switched placed. Holding the very still creature, it felt warm and soft in my hands so I knew it was alive. Then, scant seconds later the bird was free. It quickly went from still to squirming to squawking. Not one peep of appreciation came out of it's beak.

We humans sometimes find ourselves stuck in a fork of one kind or another. It doesn't matter what kind, we're still stuck. Do we struggle uselessly or do we calmly consider options for getting ourselves unstuck? Often the options considered require assistance from others. Having received assistance that freed us, do we squirm and squawk or do we express appreciation for it.

One cannot really expect appreciation or thanks from a blue heron, however, common sense expects some acknowledgement for efforts and support even when it is freely given.

Although I love and enjoy the words of Yogi Berra, "When you come to a fork in the road, take it," I know they are not words that give clear direction. A choice must be made. And sometimes we may need the wisdom, encouragement and support from others in making the best decisions, the right choices.

The World Is NOT Flat

Do you place limitations on yourself because of old outdated beliefs about what you can and cannot do? Before the days of Christopher Columbus and Amerigo Vespucci, it was common belief that the world was flat. If you came to close to the edge you could and would fall off. It was an imposed limitation due to lack of knowledge and exploration.

What are your self-imposed limitations? At a recent convention, I participated in a seminar in which I experienced a major breakthrough. And if I did, you can too. I came to what I assumed to be the edge, but I did not fall off. The only edge there was one of my own making.

Titled "Break Through!" I've attended similar seminars previously. Attended, yes. Participated, no. There's a huge difference. From the beginning the presenter promised us that if we knew we could, before the conclusion, every one in the room could and would break a board with his or her bare hand! Now, I'm a wimp when it comes to brute strength. Needless to say, I was coming up with all sorts of reasons, er, excuses, why I did not need to, or would not.

As the presenter progressed through the program, my thoughts began to change. I started thinking that maybe, just maybe, I would try. Then again, maybe I'd walk out before that time came. Sure enough, the time came. I was still in the room. In groups of ten or twelve, we gathered around a "coach." There was still time for me to back out. Then I began realizing, just maybe I could do this. Why not? We were told we had to limit our attempts to three tries. That gave me some leeway. I watched one, then two others go before me. They did it! Then I jumped in before I had a chance to revert back to my old doubts.

Coached into position I moved forward, hit the board with the heel of my hand. Smack! The board split in two! Two pieces! I did it! I did it on the first try! Like the others, I jumped up and down proud of what I had done. Yes, I broke the board, but the major accomplishment was ridding myself of a self-imposed limitation I'd long grown out of but held onto.

We've known for over five centuries that the world is not flat. It is round. A beautiful globe on which we reside and go from sunrise to sunset every day fully confident that the next day we'll have the same marvelous experience. It's our outdated beliefs in our own capabilities and potential that we now need to replace. It's easier than you think and all in how you think! If you think you can, you can.

Acknowledgement

It's interesting how one encounter gets the creative juices flowing about a particular action that serves many purposes, yet is not made often enough. Today the action, or lack of it, that got my juices flowing is acknowledgement. A very simple act, yes, but the results can be monumental.

According to surveys on motivation and what motivates people, almost more than anything else, employees want acknowledgement. Nothing big, just acknowledgement of their presence. From a smile to a pleasant "good morning." From a minor award to friendly eye contact, all are appreciated and go a long way in building loyalty and making work worthwhile.

The encounter that made me thinking about this today was not in an office or a typical workplace. It was in a coffee shop a.k.a. a bakery. Maybe it was the time of day - 10 AM, late for the breakfast crowd, early for the lunch rush. Or maybe not. I approached one cash register. The employee behind it was busy entering a vast amount of numbers into the register. It must have been the national debt. I stood there for what seemed like eons. Finally, a person with the persona of a manager came up and said, "I'll take care of you over there" and pointed to the other end of the counter. I made my way through the bakery around tables and barricades as he had directed. Again, I stood in place. An employee was at one of the two registers inputting numbers, greater than the national debt this time. Soon another employee, not the manager, walked up to the second register and started doing something that looked as if it must be terribly important.

All I wanted to do is pay for my iced tea. No, actually I wanted acknowledgement. Acknowledgement of the fact that I was there as a customer and ready to do business. All it would have taken was a little eye contact, a twitch of the lips into a brief smile. Or maybe a short sentence such as, "I'll be right with you."

It's so simple. Maybe that's it! It's too simple so it must not be important. Whether you interact with clients, family, colleagues, customers or friends, a little acknowledgement goes a long way. And it is so simple any one can do it.